143 Dolls
by littleblackrabbit
Summary: Always say words that are left unspoken, or it might be too late.. //ONESHOT
1. 143 Dolls

**143 Dolls**

_"Always say words that are left unspoken, or it might be too late.."_

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**My name is Lenalee Lee.**

And I have a story to tell you. This story has changed my life. But if you listen to it wisely, it may also change yours.

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My boyfriend's name was Kanda Yuu. Hes cocky, rude, sarcastic, and has absolutely no pity for others. But, I love him. I had always thought of him as a classmate and a good friend; until one day I found that I fell in love with him. We had gone to many places together; parks, dances, parties, school trips, you name it. One day we went to the hot springs together. Before that trip had come to an end, I decided to give it a shot and confessed my love to him. After that day, we became a pair of lovers. However, our love for one another was not the same. To me, he was the world. But to him, I was just one person in this world.

"Kanda, want to go see a movie?"

"No."

"..Howcome? This semester is over and we don't have anything due" I said as I felt disappointment grabbing my heart

"It's not homework. I'm supposed to meet someone."

He was always like that. Everyday, he'd go and meet his friends and have no time for me. Its like I was nothing to him. Sometimes I think I may not even be one person in his world. I'm just nothing. Ever since I started dating him, the words "I love you" only came from my mouth. Never had I heard him say it to me. In this relationship, there were no anniversaries either. Believe me. I counted. He has never said I love you from the first day, and it's been going on till 10 days.. 20 days.. 30 days.. 40 days... every single day. However, after every day of hanging out together he would always hand me a doll, without fail. I didn't understand why.

..Then one day..

"Kanda..."

"What?"

"..."

"Don't drag. Just say it."

"I love you."

"...just take this doll and go home."

..And that was how my three words were ignored everyday. Soon, the dolls he gave me ended up filling my room, one by one.

Soon it was my 18th birthday. I was so happy that day, I woke up picturing how me and Kanda could spend the whole day together, just me and him. I then stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call.

Breakfast passed...Lunch passed...Dinner passed...and still no phone call. I got so upset and tired that I couldn't even look at the phone anymore. Suddenly, I received a phone call at about 3 AM in the morning. It was Kanda. He had instructed me to come out of my house. I felt a rush of happiness at the fact that he still remembered. I hurriedly grabbed my coat and slipped some shoes on, and rushed out the door. He was waiting on my driveway with his hands in his pockets.

"Kanda?"

"Take this."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a little doll, stuffing it into my hands.

"Whats this?" I asked. But of course I knew what it was, I just didn't understand the meaning of it.

"I didn't give it to you yesterday, So here it is now." He turned around and started to walk away

"Wait!" I called after him. "What day is it today?"

He stopped in his tracks and froze.

"..... I don't know."

My heart crushed. I thought he would of remembered my birthday. He then proceeded to walk away as if nothing had happened.

"WAIT!" I called out again

Kanda then turned around. "You have something to say?"

I shuffled my feet and hesitated.

"Tell me you love me."

"...."

"Tell me."

"...."

"TELL ME!"

I then placed my pathetic self behind and clung onto him.

"I don't want to say I love someone so easily. If you are that desperate to hear it, then I suggest you find someone else."

..That was the response I received. My heart felt dead, and my legs felt numb. I immediately collapsed to the ground and broke into tears. I felt so stupid after that day, still waiting for his calls. The thing I will never come to understand was, he still kept hanging me those little dolls every morning.

So. That was the first part of my relationship with Kanda Yuu. After about a Month, I had finally gotten myself together and returned to school. But..what made the pain resurface was that I kept on seeing him with other girls. He still had the same sour look on his face, so similar to the Kanda I was with a month ago. As I ran home that day, I locked myself in my room and stared at the dolls all piled up in one corner. I robotically walked over and touched one, and wondered why he had given me these. After receiving a rush of anger, I threw the dolls around.

Suddenly, the phone rang.

It was Kanda. He told me to meet him down the street at the bus stop. After what had happened, I wondered what other business he had with me. I kept reminding myself that I would forget such a heartless man and move on, and that I would end this for good.

Until he came into my sight, holding a doll bigger than the other ones.

"You came." He said

Suddenly I felt all my anger rush up. How could he do this to me? Always pretending like nothing had happened and making jokes of my feelings.

"Doll." He reached his arm out with the big doll in his hand

I scowled at him and looked away

"I don't need it."

"Why?"

I then harshly grabbed the doll out of his hands and threw it onto the road

"I DON'T NEED THIS DOLL, I DON'T NEED IT ANYMORE. I HATE YOU! I DON'T WANT TO SEE A PERSON LIKE YOU EVER AGAIN. DISAPPEAR." I said, spitting out the words inside of me. But unlike the other days, his eyes were very shaking.

"Sorry." He said in a quiet murmur, probably assuming I couldn't hear him. I could. He then made his way onto the road, attempting to pick up the doll

"STUPID, Why are you picking up the doll!? THROW IT AWAY!"

But he proceeded to walk onto the street to pick up the doll. I suddenly heard a distant noise coming from the other end of the road, and realized it was a car.

With a loud honk, a big delivery truck was headed towards him. My body froze, I felt numb.

"KANDA, KANDA! MOVE AWAY, THERES A TRUCK!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, but he failed to hear me. He then squatted down to pick up the doll

"KANDA, MOVE!"

But it was too late. The sound horrifyed me.-

So. That was how I lost him. Thats how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me. After that day, I spent every single moment feeling guilty and sad about losing him, and how it was all my fault for his death. After spending almost 3 months living in hell, I pulled out the dolls.

Those dolls were the only things he had given me since the day we became a couple. I loved him so much. All of a sudden, I felt a rush of memories playing in my mind like a film. I then started to count the dolls.

"One…two… three…"  
"..One hundred forty two...One hundred forty three..."

It all ended with 143 dolls.

I then started to cry again, hugging a doll in my arms...suddenly..

_"I love you!, I love you!_"

I dropped the doll in shock

"..I..love..you...?" I slowly reached to the doll and picked it up, pressing its stomach

_"I love you!" I love you!_"

No...It can't be. I hurriedly pressed all of the dolls stomach's and threw them onto the side  
_"I love you!"  
"I love you!"  
"I love you!"_  
Those words came out non-stop. I'm so stupid. Why haven't I realized this before? Why haven't I realized that he was always with me, loving me...and always by my side? I slowly reached under my bed for the biggest doll that Kanda had left me with. That was the last doll, the one that he had tried to pick up on the road. It had blood stains on it. The voice came out, the one that I have been missing so much…

"Lenalee. Do you know what today is? It's been 143 days. We have been loving eachother for 143 days. I'm sorry I've never said I love you to you before. I've always been so whimpy about it. If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you, everyday, until I die. Do you know what 143 means? I love you."

Tears came bursting out. Why does it have to be this way? He can't be by my side, but he loved me until the end...

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So..thats the story I have for you. Kanda was mine. He is mine. And he always will be, up to this day. I love him, but sometimes things just don't go right. After this tragic story of my life, I must say for you,

Always say words that are left unspoken, or else it might be too late.

For that, and for that reason, it became to me courage to life a beautiful life.

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	2. Story Credits

**143 Dolls; Credits**

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Hey everyone! thanks for reading this story. But I just want to say, this story isnt mine. I found it on a site, and it touched me so much that I just had to share it fanfiction-style. I have re-written this a bit, and re-worded everything in the story along as changed a few things and added a few. This was a true story that happened to a girl and her boyfriend.

Thanks for reading!


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